Choices and Regrets
by TheRedSin
Summary: He's only got that bouquet of her favorite flower to offer and even that won't help him make amends. R&R.


A/N: This idea has been plaguing me already for days and I only got to do the writing now. When I heard the song Lucy by Skillet, I can't help thinking of this plot. I thinks the song fits perfectly. Although the name of the girl in the song is Lucy and the song, for me, is about angst-y Gruvia. Anyways, I wish you enjoy this. I also tried a different writing style. Tell me your thought about it. :D

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters nor the song, I only own the idea.

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_Hey Lucy I remember your name. I left a dozen roses on your grave today._

Juvia. The name crosses his mind every so often. Her smiles, her laughs, her antics and the way his name sounds whenever she calls him. He recalls everything about her only now. He's standing there, in front of her grave, a bouquet of her favorite flower in his hand.

_I'm in the grass, on my knees, wiping leaves away._

It has been a few months since. A few fallen leaves have piled on her gravestone partly covering her name. He goes on his knees and wipes the leaves away with his free hand, clearing the gravestone. It says,

In Memory of Our Dear

_JUVIA LOCKSER_

We will never forget you.

_I just came to talk for a while, I got some things I need to say._

He's just visiting her only now, for the first time after the burial. He's got some things he needs to say but he continues to stare at the name in front of him, doesn't know what to say, how to start and where to begin.

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her._

His grip tightens and the boquet slightly gets crushed. Something stings his eyes, it waters gradually. A few drops fall and he thinks it is the rain's doing, only to realize that the weather is just fine and his eyes are the source of the tiny droplets.

_I'd give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me._

He remembers that one time he called for her. Turning to face him, shy smile on her face, hands clasped behind her, she answered with coy enthusiasm, _"Yes, Gray-sama?" _And it dawns him, she was his heaven albeit denying it in the past. He'll do whatever it takes if only to have that bright sunshine back in his life.

_I've got to live with the choices I made, and I can't live with myself today._

His decision to ignore his feelings and deny them brings him here in this pitiable predicament today. If only he's had the courage to let her know, if only he did not let the fear of his past get the better of him. He regrets it so and he wonders if he can live with this regret.

_Hey Lucy I remembered your birthday. They say it'd bring some closure to say your name._

It's the 13th of November that day and he is reminded by the sudden drizzle that it's her birthday. The last of the autumn rain, always and never has it missed to pour on this day every year. And he ponders if it has something to do with her affinity with the element. And he finds himself calling her name, "Juvia." He misses it, calling her name. So again and few more times did he call for her. "Juvia... Juvia..."

_I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance._

He's alone and he thinks he'll do it all different if given the chance. Scratch that, not 'he thinks', he knows, definitely, for sure, to do it differently.

_But all I got are these roses to give and they can't help me make amends._

But he doesn't have the power to do so, no more second chances because she's gone and will never be able to come back in this lifetime. More tears make their way down his cheeks. All he's got are those flowers to offer and those cannot and will not be able to help him make the littlelest of amends, cannot make up for everything he has done wrong.

_Here we are, now you're in my arms. I never wanted anything so bad. Here we are for a brand new start._

He imagines her in his arms and he has never wanted anything so bad. That one time he's saved her, she in his arms, it was so perfect like she was made to fit in his embrace. And in his dreams, they are together for a new beginning.

_Living the life that we could have had, me and Lucy walking hand in hand, me and Lucy never wanna end just another moment in your eyes._

And he continues to contemplate what could have been, them walking hand in hand, a love never ending as he gazes in her orbs and in the far future, the two of them creating a family of their own together.

_I'll see you in another life, in heaven where we never say goodbye._

As he ends his little daydreaming of what might have been, he finally accepts their fate and finally finds the courage to let go. He lays the bouquet down her grave and prays for while before standing and makes his way back home. And he promises as he walks away that they will meet again, in another lifetime or in heaven, and there they will never say goodbye.

OWARI

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Thanks for reading! Reviews are nice and will be greatly appreciated. :D


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